Repost: Apples and Oranges: How no two people grieve the same way

Repost: Apples and Oranges: How no two people grieve the same way

Last night, I was going through the emotions of everything that has happened in the last seven months with me and my family, and thinking of all the great things that will be happening in the next few months. It really got me thinking and somehow my phone knew what to suggest for me as an article to read. It was titled, “Apples and Oranges: How no two people grieve the same.” 

I don’t mean to make this a depressing post, by the way.

So I read the article and it was just what I needed to read. The article discusses how the culture of today is to put everyone in a category and that is how you are taught you are. Even our days are categorized by what we do now and what we do later. 

This labeling process is what I am dealing with almost everyday. I am trying to label myself as a grieving individual, but I am truly so much more than that. I don’t fit in one category and my emotions to not fit into one category either. 

I truly could read this article over and over again. I hope to possibly share it at the support group I attend. 

The point of my posting is to share this and to ask for everyone to take a moment to realize, they can not categorize their emotions, thoughts, personality, etc., even in the moments of grieving. 


Privacy Settings for Family

I am very blessed to have such a caring family. And such a large family. They always want the best for me and I know I can turn to them for anything.

However, I have noticed through my friend’s postings on Facebook and Twitter and some of my own experiences in the past, nothing is private from your family anymore. You post one word and the entire family (in my case) knows.

Facebook is always changing their privacy settings, but I wonder, would it be in the interest of Facebook and its users to have a “Family Privacy Setting?” I mean think about it, you could click a button and your entire family does not need to find out about that guy/girl you met at the bar last night (although you shouldn’t publish it to begin with). Or in my case, my family does not need to know how obsessed I am with Justin Timberlake.

I’ll admit, I have blocked certain people from seeing all my posts and photos (like my mom) because I don’t want the “You shouldn’t even have a Facebook” conversation (when I want to work in social media, nice try). Some might say, “why do you even accept your family as friends on Facebook?” Again I am trying to avoid the, “You are embarrassed to admit you know me” conversation.

Anyway, with all the changes in privacy settings, it may be beneficial to the world of users on the internet to have that private place where family can’t find you.

What I have noticed

For the past three months, I have been working on a invitation list for the inauguration of our new president at the university. As of today, we have over 700 names of higher education leadership individual, community leaders, and some others.

What I have noticed upon all my research is that, no matter how easy we say the internet is, it really isn’t.

When researching higher education leadership individuals, such as presidents or chancellors, I have found I have to go through pages and pages on a university’s website, just to get a name…getting an address is a whole other issue. Most of the time I just give up and call the university’s toll-free number. However, these are usually student workers (such as myself) answering the phones and they always laugh when I ask for a mailing address or say, “check our website.” Why don’t they have information readily available on the internet. Possibly because they don’t want anyone to have it.

Another thing I have noticed is higher education websites are all NOT the same. Take for example, Vassar College in New York. Their landing page looks so beautiful. My first thought was “wow, this is an elegant school.” Then I clicked on “About” on the top right hand corner, and it went to a very girly looking landing page. Just to see what happened, I back tracked, and tried to go through their “Info & Resources” and again, it is nothing like the first landing page, although a lot better than the “About” page. What really surprised me is the President’s page. After going through several clicks, I found this page. IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ANY OF THE OTHER PAGES ASSOCIATED TO THE COLLEGE!

So the moral of this, keep your content consist and easy to find.

How I am here today

Growing up in the 1990’s was truly an experience. Whether it be the television shows on Nickelodeon, the boy band craze or Y2K, there was always something going on (but we didn’t have social media to express how we felt). 

However, I feel that growing up in the 1990’s a competitive time. I felt pressured in classrooms to be better than the person next to me, be better at sports, have the most friends, etc. 

I didn’t become competitive until I got to college, but looking back it made me who I am today. I am always trying to work harder than the person next to me and leave a bigger mark on the world than anyone else. 

This shows in my work with the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. My father unfortunately passed away in December 2012 of Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma after battling for three years. Throughout that time, I encouraged my family to raise as much money possible to help LLS and others like my father. Even though I am not raising money for his survival, I am motivated to raise money for LLS in his memory.